Thinking on 'Community'

   Sometimes over a period of time and conversations, I pick up a particular word that keeps pecking away at my thinking.  Recently the concept of community has been the buzz word.  The definition of community is: 1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common  2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.
   So starting with the given that a group of people who have intentionally gathered because of a common interest or need, let's look at what makes a community maintain stability as well as enriching the lives of those involved. Here are some aspects I see in a healthy community:
   A.  Common interests - Whether it is peaked curiosity or intense knowledge of a subject, having a common interest invites dialog and exchange of thoughts. While there may some absolute truths about the subject, the opportunity to share and even challenge allows for opportunity to expand knowledge and commitment to the community.
   B.  Common needs - Actually we all have some needs in common.  The need to be loved, to be valued, to be needed.  Therefore a community provides a setting where needs can be shared, can be met and can be another demonstration of commitment to the community.
   C.  Genuine fellowship - A place where a person feels invited, included and invested in.  When this type of fellowship is presented, it allows each person to be genuine - true to self - which in turns brings out the best they have to offer back to the community.
   D.  Always growing/changing - a healthy group doesn't stay in one place not stay in one form.  It grows with the seasons of life.  It adapts to meet the needs of the people.  It addresses the present and readies for the future.
   E.  Can't force it - When a group attempts to force being involved, when stipulations are such that you either perform to x standard or aren't allowed to participate, or you don't meet approval, then you are strangling the life out of the community. The freedom for each individual to commit themselves to the community from where they are in life is just that - freedom.  Freedom to allow for those winter seasons in life, to allow for a reprieve from the storms of life, to allow time and seasoning to mature them to continue with the group.  Go back to A, B, C and D.  But remember that community starts with people.  And people are made up of more than one person.  A person, one who has a common interest, common need and desires genuine fellowship.
   F.   Invests - A healthy community invests in the welfare of each other.  This is why a community is always evolving.  The people of the group have different needs at different times.  Some of the group are more able to meet certain needs over others.  And then there is a shift to the next arising need(s) and new members step up.  There is always give and take.  It is when there are more takers over a period of time than givers, that community suffers. 
   Keeping the common interests and common needs at the forefront along with genuine fellowship, will allow a community to thrive through the seasons of life.
   Just my thinking on community while eating leftover cheese/onion enchilada and chile relleno...
   

"Stop It"

"Stop It", said like a little kid that doesn't like what is happening.  That's what I feel often during this h.o.l.i.d.a.y season. 
H - Hurry and I do mean everything is a hurry
O - Overwhelmed with the 'must do list' and 'want to list'
L - Lost in the chaos and rush, where's our focus on the reason for the season
I - Idols of all kinds emerge; traditions, family expectations, decorations, food
D - Depression, the blue feeling of knowing you can't create the perfect holiday you have in your head
A - Anger at myself because I can't do it all
Y - Ya'll, let's get over this and on the count of three, shout "Stop It".

One, Two, Three...STOP IT

Trying To Be Still

It's just not a good sign that I'm awake in the middle of the night.  Not a good sign for how I'm feeling now and not a good sign for how I'll feel later in the day.  Two sentences and I've used the word 'good' twice.  Actually I've referred to good with "not" in front of it.  If something isn't "good" then does that make it "bad"?  Only God has the ultimate defining purpose of good.  And anything He purposes will have its "good" in its time.  I'm talking/thinking in circles trying to hear Him in this.  "THIS" encompasses more than I can put into words.  Mostly I'm trying to not be hurt, not be angry, not be fearful, not fall apart, not blame, and not allow the words bubbling through my emotions a voice.  Jesus is the Word and He gives life.  The words in my head are not life giving.  They are truth.  They are how I feel.  However, I doubt they would have any impact other than negative if spoken.  So I'm typing - but still can't put the words down - someone may read them.  I know there is only One who can hear these words and take what I have to say, still love me, can forgive me, can shoulder the emotions. The frustration, the disappointment, the hurt, the anger, it is all too much for me.  Trying to be still...

I Know....but...

First lesson:  I understand that I must let others seek revelation and use discernment for their own actions and reactions to situations.  Even knowing this doesn't lessen the perception I have of the hurt feelings, my own included.  It doesn't lessen the hardship of seeing someone struggle.  I am learning to use these perceptions to fuel my intercession for the person/situation.  A part of this lesson is brushing my palms together as I release my hold on anyone/anything and leave it at the feet of my unfailing, neverending Almighty God.

Another lesson:  When I'm resentful (I'm being honest here) of what I don't have because I've made a choice to sacrifice my 'wants' for someone else's 'wants', I can ask myself if I'm taking care of what I DO have.  When I focus on taking care of what I already have, it is amazing how much shinier it looks all of a sudden.  Not giving up on what I want.  Just laying down the resentment....well, getting there anyway. 

Last lesson for the day (it's only 2pm, there might be more of course):  It's perfectly admissible to speak into another person's life in the very area you are struggling with!  I know the scripture that talks about 'splinter vs. log' so I'm not talking about judgment and sin.  I'm saying someone recently spoke to me with words that they knew applied to them as well and were life giving to me.  I wasn't thrilled at first.  I wanted to stay in my bad mood, feeling resentment, feeling disappointed in others, feeling pity.  I was choosing that attitude.  A few loving words of encouragement couldn't be denied for long if I gave them even a tiny opening.  My attitude is better, it's in process at least.   I'm praying the person who spoke those words will give the small tiny opening and benefit from their own words.  Because truly, the Words were from Christ anyway.

May the rest of the day unfold new found joy and peace to you.

Do It "Well"

To "Do It 'Well'" has been a recurring theme running through my thoughts for several weeks.  Those words came to me in a situation that I knew was beyond my understanding and ability.  In fact, to do it well is usually beyond my own selfish desires.  In order to fulfill the expectation of that statement, it requires trusting God to shore up, fill in and circle the entire situation which ultimately means it has nothing to do with you at all but is purely His sovereignty at work through you. 

To "Do It 'Well'" requires several things to happen:
1.  Recognize your need for Him.  ASK Him to "Do It 'Well'" through you.
2.  Get yourself out of the way.  Die to your emotions, opinions and self-agendas.
3.  Trust He will complete what He has purposed.  Know His character.
4.  Be patient.  Very patient.
5.  Focus on 'Jesus' and no one else or anything else.
6.  Praise Him because you KNOW He is faithful and good regardless of how you feel or what you see.
7.  Give thanks for another opportunity to practice "doing it well".

To "Do It 'Well'" means:
1.  There is an Opportunity:  For His glory to be shown in this situation.
2.  There is a need to Exercise:  Putting your trust in Him and not yourself.  Again, know His character.
3.  It is time for an Investment:  Using the gifts and talents He has given you as He directs for His purposes.
4.  Applying Wisdom:  To know when to move, speak or pray.
5.  A need to Develop:  A patience that passes your own understanding
6.  The ability to let go and let God.
7.  Having confidence:  that God is Sovereign in ALL things. 

I don't want to spend my life just persevering.  I want to spend my days on this earth "doing it well" for His glory.  When I find myself frustrated with life, it is often those times I have allowed my focus to drift to me instead of Him.  I know He has so much more to pour into me.  It's all available to me for the asking.  As I keep my heart and soul turned toward Him, He will show me how to "Do it 'Well'" for Him.  That is my heart's desire....for Him.

ACCOUNTABLE

At the end of my days I want to know that I've been accountable for asking forgiveness for my sins, have done all that I can do to live peacefully with others, been able to give account to what I believe in scripturally both about salvation and about being Spirit led, have loved God first and foremost in my life and have loved others with compassion, grace and mercy.  Some days I do better at living my life the way I would like it to be seen at the end.  Some days I'm not very good at one or more of the areas listed above.  And that's okay.  What matters is that I seek His presence, His wisdom, His guidance.  As I learn to do that more and more, as I remain mold-able to the plans He has for me, the more I WILL BE ALL HE HAS CALLED ME TO BE.

Celebration and Sorrow

This is a story of two families that spent many hours together in the heat, the cold, the windy, the rainy and the perfect weather behind the fence surrounding a softball field.  We all knew that this was just a taste of life, watching our daughters play ball.  We knew there was so much still ahead for them to experience, to enjoy, to fulfill their destinies.  This was a team of families that cheered for each player as their own daughter.  Celebrating their success today, anticipating their success tomorrow.

Five years ago, these two families' lives came to a fork in the road that wasn't anticipated, neither was it a desirable twist of curves and cliff edges.  One Friday morning, with both doctors out of the office,  a very nervous nurse had to share what could be a life changing diagnosis and it required urgent treatment.  Interestingly enough, when the sweet nervous nurse said the word 'melanoma', this momma felt a resolve rise from a faith I didn't yet know I had, and this resolve was simply "we will overcome this".  Yes, there was some initial fear but mostly it was a feeling of sadness that my daughter had another medical issue to deal with.

So the phone calls began to schedule surgery to remove a larger portion of the tissue where the melanoma had been located.  Plans were being made to go on with life.  Work this procedure in asap while conducting life as normal.

In the late hours of that Friday, the other family's road hit its curves and cliffs.  The uniformed law officer rang the doorbell in the early morning hours (was he nervous too?) to share that their daughter lost her life in a car accident.  There wasn't a chance for resolve to rise that  'she will survive this'.  There wasn't any phone calls to seek urgent medical treatment.  This life was over.  Period.

The following Thursday this little town saw one of the largest attended funerals in many years, if not in its history.  Christina Lavone "Beaner" Collins touched more lives than she could ever have imagined.  She was one smart, talented, athletic, energetic and honest young lady.  As the funeral came to its close, we rushed off for Jody to have the surgery that would confirm that ALL of the cancerous cells were removed.

One life laid to rest, one life starting a new beginning.  One family learning how to live without a daughter, a sister.  One community learning to live without a friend, a ray of sunlight.  One family learning how to live believing in answered prayer in spite of medicine's shadow of grim prediction.

It's been five years.  Interestingly, God had Jody randomly run into the Collins family on the 5 year mark of the diagnosis and the accident.  Hugs and laughter were exchanged.  You wonder, you hope, that there was some comfort and healing for all in those few minutes together.

Over these last years, further moles have been removed for testing.  The praise worthy news is that before the melanoma, all biopsies came back with dysplatic cells, meaning abnormal with a higher propensity for becoming cancerous.  The last biopsy, and I remember praying as the doctor removed it that this cancer was done and over, came back completely normal!!  It's been five years.  It's the landmark for medicine to declare her cancer free.  But I believe God declared the cancer to be gone five years before as an answer to prayers.

So while my heart celebrates God's goodness in answering this prayer, my heart feels sorrow for the hole left with Christina's death.  There are questions unanswered about her eternal home.  We find hope in knowing she heard the gospel and could have responded at any moment.  It's one of those questions we won't have an answer to until we arrive at our eternal destination as well. 

While I celebrate today and praise Him for the plans He has for Jody, I also pray for the Collins family, that they may feel His comforting presence and embrace the plans He has for them as well.

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing (through the experience of your faith) that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.  Romans 15:13 Amplified Bible

A Plague of Irks

Maybe plague is an exaggeration.  And yet it seems there has been an onslaught of 'irks' buzzing me these last couple of weeks.  Just when I think I've swatted away an 'irk' another one would appear.  "Lord, what do You want me to do with this?" has been a frequent conversation starter lately.

What exactly is an 'irk'?  Sometimes it is a reaction to an irritant that comes from my own selfish tendencies or quirky likes/dislikes.  Other times the 'irk' is a result of someone else's self-centered behavior or from a lack of social graces.  And then there are times the 'irk' is simply a pest stemming from an issue that I am not in the position to control yet am in the position to bear some responsibility for.  

How do you exterminate these pesky 'irks'?  The answer would have been simple in my former years.  Swat and throw punches until the 'irk' is gone.  Yeah.  You're right.  That didn't work very well in the long run.  Was definitely hard on relationships and  usually not conducive to Godly character building.  So back to the "Lord, what do You want me to do with this?"

He has answered this same prayer in different ways.  Quite often He asks me to continue to listen to how He wants me to pray for the 'irk, irkee or irkor'.  And sometimes He tells me to "Get over it!" And then He has said "Give Me time, I'm working on it".  There are some 'irks' that require being addressed rather than ignoring or swatting.  These are the kind that don't go away but continue buzzing your head and possibly leaving a few stingers.  This is the hardest kind for me.  Almost miss the days of swatting and throwing punches.


Just kidding...and so you won't give up on me, know that after I ask God what He wants me to do, I ask Him for the grace and wisdom to do only what brings Him glory.  I really know this 'irk plague' isn't about me, if I don't make it about me, that is.  


So, if you are inclined to pray for me, you might ask Him to deliver me from the 'irk plague'.
Maybe throw in a request for wisdom, discernment and patience too.  And would you mind asking for a small dose of chocolate too?  Not a whole bag or I'll over indulge and have a different kind of plague to deal with.  Well, maybe we should leave the prayer to the simplistic prayer of Father Tim..."Not thy will, Father, but Yours."

The Door is Open

For a reason only God knows, He gave Ralph and I the commission early on in our marriage that our door is always open.  We've welcomed a variety of people into our lives over the years and certainly there were times we were taken advantage of and had some bumps and bruises.  In looking back over the years, I'm hopeful we showed His love and compassion even though we still didn't fully understand it ourselves.  And still don't fully understand it but we have grown in embracing it.

In these experiences, we've learned there is wisdom in having boundaries in place.  Communication and adjustment are a continual need.  Guarding your relationship with each other is vital. Martyrdom is futile.  Forgiveness is essential.  Grace and mercy are a daily need.  His love covers all and my love falls short.  We are responsible to be the light of Christ but we aren't responsible for their response.  And there even comes a time when you have to recognize that the season is ending for both parties and a new one is beginning.  Hopefully the new season is one of spring and new growth but we've seen a harsh winter hit as well.

What I know is this:  Our door is open.  We will be obedient.  And, praise the Lord, we are getting better at hearing His voice of wisdom and discernment once He places His sheep in our home for a day, a week, however long.  Because ultimately, they are HIS sheep and we are simply His caregivers for a season.

What Have I Ever Done?

The title of this post is from a song that I know was played in 1974. 
What have I ever done, to deserve even one, of the blessings I've had (or something close to that).

Those words pretty much sum up my life.  I know the answer is that I've done NOTHING to deserve even one of those blessings.  BUT I'm going to embrace each one, be thankful to the One who gave them to me and seek His wisdom on how to be good steward of each one.  AND I'm going to praise Him for the blessings yet to come. 

Hall Closet Discovered

I'm not sure how it happened.  I was organizing some Christmas boxes and wrapping paper getting ready to put them away for the year when I went to the hall closet and suddenly found myself on a chair pulling boxes and sacks down left and right.  Out came the trash bag and in went a LOT of precious things I'd been saving for a long time.  I can't remember why I was saving any of it so OUT it went.  (Dear family, don't panic, mostly it was wrinkled gift bags and old empty boxes.) After discovering new shelf space at the top of the closet, I worked my way to the hanging clothes and found some great jackets/coats that will keep someone else warm as soon as I get them to the Thrift Store.  And then there was the floor of the closet.  It can now be said that you can see the floor again.  That cleansing process now involves washing the myriad of stocking caps, gloves - both matched and mismatched - to either keep or give away. The problem is I still have all of the Christmas decorations to still be put away.  Maybe another day....

Thankful

Woke up really early this morning and spent some time with a glass of milk and my thanksgiving list.  Finished teaching another New Believer's class last night with them giving their testimonies.  So wonderful to hear how God has moved in people's lives! 

Peeked in on Facebook for awhile which lead me to some family pictures.  Fills my heart with joy to remember what this family means to one another.  Encourages me to press on in prayer believing He has even more for this family.  My desire is that we ALL serve Him and my fantasy is that we even serve together once in awhile.  How cool would that be?

Am finding myself a little weary in a few areas.  Just can't seem to get caught up on the housework - I plane don't like doing it - and the clutter that needs cleared away isn't getting any better.   Having an extra person living with us has gone fairly well other than it is another person living with us.  One more person to buy groceries for, to work a schedule around, to share a living area and TV with and to clean up after.  And really he has shown great initiative to doing things without me having to ask him but there are still those 'things' that aren't done or aren't how I would like them to be.  Makes me feel selfish and sometimes petty.  I don't want to be that way.

Then again, I've had some great time with Him lately.  So I think I will keep my thoughts focused there and be THANKFUL.

Squeegee Hunt

I've got my bucket, I've got my rock, I'm goin' on a squeegee hunt...

I truly do have all that I need to walk victorious in this life. It's a matter of laying down what isn't necessary or isn't working and picking up the tools that equip me. It's remaining under a true spiritual authority, seeing what He has for me to see, availing myself of the resources (people included) around me and marching forward. He has given me a passion and a call to a certain ministry. He has been fine tuning me and I'm sure has much work left to do (smile) so it's time to press onward. At His pace, with His guidance and in His way. Keeping my eyes on the prize...

And I hope it is a 'squeegee'...

amazing how easily tears can spring to the eyes...might be the bright sun, or the stinging wind, a sudden surprise, unexpected gift, a melancholy moment, a grieving sadness, sweet embrace, moving song, lovely vision, special memory, a thing hoped for, a date on the calendar...new life, restored life - both precious and to be highly anticipated and celebrated!

It only takes a few...

So many words spoken, some hold life and some are hurtful. It only takes a few...to change a life. "I'm sorry." "You're forgiven." "I love you." "I appreciate you." "I miss you." "I am blessed to have you in my life." For all of the words that can weigh you down, to be lifted up again only takes a few.

For Keeps

So in the journey to becoming a family, we've had taken a few turns that doesn't follow the usual course. Early on, we seemed to be the couple that would babysit others kids. In college, we watched Eddie while his mom worked. Ralph taught him to love donuts and Eddie taught Ralph how to wipe his hands on a napkin by rolling it across his chest with one hand, then the other thereby cleaning both hands. Then we helped a family with 3 kids whose mother had an emotional problem. The kids started turning to us more than their mother so we had to step back to allow them to work out being a family unit again. Next we get a call from an ex-neighbor offering us her grandson to adopt. We gave him a home for almost 2 years before playing roulette with the mother and saying either she allowed us to adopt him or she needed to give him a home. We lost. Then followed daughters of our own, Dana and Jody. God had one more surprise for us though in an unexpected pregnancy that brought Ross William Glazner into our lives. On that day I thought, "finally a son that can't be taken away from us". The craziness of this journey is that the young boy we wanted to adopt has been in and out of lives several times and has returned once again. He's about to be 31 and this time I "see" him as a son but also know I have no parental rights - He is truly God's son. And while it feels like 'someone' has taken Ross away, I know the same applies to him - He is truly God's son. Well, gee, I thought this being a mother was "for keeps". I think I'm glad to have figured out Who the real Keeper is but it is taking a while to adjust to the fact that I'm not it. I mean, wouldn't I want God to be the One who "keeps" all my children (and all loved ones) in His hand? Of course, I do!

Learning to figure out where the puts me on the journey. Moving forward, watching for road signs, listening for His voice, trusting that what/where/how all moves me toward what is really "for keeps".

Loving the Prodigals

I'm learning. Sometimes wonder why I am in this place to be doing this learning. But I am. In fact, guess I kinda asked for it. I've had an ongoing tutoring session with God for several years now on the topic of Love. I recall stating to someone years ago "If I want to love this boy, I have to love his momma." And I tried. In fact, I did love her but I didn't nurture her in a relationship toward God, at least not very well. And now she is in eternity. I can only hope she made a decision that sent her to heaven but I honestly don't know. In those years I thought I could love someone enough to make a difference. Then I discovered my love is limited and conditional and it is exhausting to try to "love enough". God's love is unlimited and unconditional so my next thought was that I needed to love others with His love and allow Him to work through me as He willed. The shortcoming of that idea is that the other person might be influenced by His love through others but they still have a will to choose how to respond to His love. So here I am in what I hope to be the Master Level course on Love. My role in this life is to Love Him. Simply to Love Him. He will direct my steps, will channel His love to flow onto others as He plans, He will sustain and protect me and He will keep me in perfect peace. I must give all of me to Him if I'm to have that perfect peace. Wish it was as easy as it sounds. Well, that sounded negative. But that's where I am right now. Learning to keep my eyes on Him. "Be still and know that I am God."

Don't mean to be cryptic so I'll explain what has motivated this post: Our 'almost son', Branden, is home with us for awhile. There are some who probably have concern with this decision and I understand. However, this was a decision that we didn't make - God did. Branden has come and gone from our lives several times. This time Ralph & I know God brought him here. We don't know anything more than that. And it has to be enough for now. We are asking and trusting God to reveal what is next. We are trusting.

What is within the spirit - the pureness or corruptness of the spiritual heart - is what shapes the soul - the thinking, feeling, acting which in turns affects the health of the body. If I am full of unforgiveness, it becomes a bitterness that then flavors every thought, feeling and action I have, in particular toward the area from which the bitterness was originally harbored. And those unhealthy emotions and actions begin to tear down my physical body. The stress and anguish change the chemical make-up of my body and begin to break down its optimum performance level.

So, upon learning this anew Sunday, I asked God to show me if there was any hidden bitterness in me. Why did I not think He would answer that prayer and show me exactly what I had asked for?
God has revealed a bitter root and it will have to come out. It's stuck right now but He will help break it up so it is completely removed this time. Once and for all! PTL

Two Contrasts

KYAC: Thanks to my niece, there is a new acronym in the family vocabulary. She is referring to the treatment her dad, my brother, is receiving to beat this aggressive cancer back into remission. KYAC stands for Kick Your A** Chemo and is warning the cancer cells that they are going to die, die, die. And we are believing that this is exactly what is happening. The effects have been very difficult on my brother especially since this treatment started within 11 days of having 2 brain surgeries. My brother is a strong man and is a fighter. But it is God who is His defender and Healer. I'm praying God will touch his (Fred) life with healing in the spirit and in the physical.

"Himher": Another new word in our family's vocabulary. While we are praying for cells to stop dividing and start dying in Fred's situation, we are praying for healthy cell division to occur in perfect timing for "Himher". That is because this is my first grandbaby's nickname until he/she is born.

Hearing the news of "Himher" is a sweet reminder that God is always moving life forward. We are being created, being refined, being restored, being prepared, being strengthened, being...
always with His hand upon us.

So I've said the one name I don't want my g'babies to call me is Granny. There are a few other names I'd probably not particularly welcome either. But let's face it. Whatever this sweet baby calls me will be grand with me:). We might need to negotiate a little though because the first g'baby gets to establish the name all of the others will call me too. Already there is pressure on being the oldest child.

One life fighting to beat cancer cells then needing to grow healthy cells to thrive. One life creating new cell divisions to grow and thrive. Two different lives in contrast to one another yet both moving forward to live "life abundantly" as He has promised.

I love you, Fred. I love you Himher. I love the One who holds both of you in His hands.

What next, Feddie Boy?

My oldest brother is 11 years older than me and that alone is enough to set him up as a hero figure in a little sister's eyes. And apparently whatever he asked me to do, I'd do it then ask him "What next, Feddie boy?" There is a family movie at a motel with a swimming pool (what a treat that was!) that even had a slide!!! The picture is grainy and the sound muffled but you can actually hear me ask him that question.

This morning as he is being brought out of a medically induced coma following two brain surgeries yesterday, he is still my hero. But instead of asking him 'what's next', I'd like to show him what's been happening and what is next. I want him to see and hear the prayers that have stormed the heavens on his behalf. I want him to know the One who has heard these prayers and has from His love and mercy been answering those prayers. I want my hero to have a Hero and for him to ask God ''what's next?" .

I'm believing in miracles and I'm asking for changed lives - all for His glory.