Loving the Prodigals

I'm learning. Sometimes wonder why I am in this place to be doing this learning. But I am. In fact, guess I kinda asked for it. I've had an ongoing tutoring session with God for several years now on the topic of Love. I recall stating to someone years ago "If I want to love this boy, I have to love his momma." And I tried. In fact, I did love her but I didn't nurture her in a relationship toward God, at least not very well. And now she is in eternity. I can only hope she made a decision that sent her to heaven but I honestly don't know. In those years I thought I could love someone enough to make a difference. Then I discovered my love is limited and conditional and it is exhausting to try to "love enough". God's love is unlimited and unconditional so my next thought was that I needed to love others with His love and allow Him to work through me as He willed. The shortcoming of that idea is that the other person might be influenced by His love through others but they still have a will to choose how to respond to His love. So here I am in what I hope to be the Master Level course on Love. My role in this life is to Love Him. Simply to Love Him. He will direct my steps, will channel His love to flow onto others as He plans, He will sustain and protect me and He will keep me in perfect peace. I must give all of me to Him if I'm to have that perfect peace. Wish it was as easy as it sounds. Well, that sounded negative. But that's where I am right now. Learning to keep my eyes on Him. "Be still and know that I am God."

Don't mean to be cryptic so I'll explain what has motivated this post: Our 'almost son', Branden, is home with us for awhile. There are some who probably have concern with this decision and I understand. However, this was a decision that we didn't make - God did. Branden has come and gone from our lives several times. This time Ralph & I know God brought him here. We don't know anything more than that. And it has to be enough for now. We are asking and trusting God to reveal what is next. We are trusting.

What is within the spirit - the pureness or corruptness of the spiritual heart - is what shapes the soul - the thinking, feeling, acting which in turns affects the health of the body. If I am full of unforgiveness, it becomes a bitterness that then flavors every thought, feeling and action I have, in particular toward the area from which the bitterness was originally harbored. And those unhealthy emotions and actions begin to tear down my physical body. The stress and anguish change the chemical make-up of my body and begin to break down its optimum performance level.

So, upon learning this anew Sunday, I asked God to show me if there was any hidden bitterness in me. Why did I not think He would answer that prayer and show me exactly what I had asked for?
God has revealed a bitter root and it will have to come out. It's stuck right now but He will help break it up so it is completely removed this time. Once and for all! PTL