Celebration and Sorrow

This is a story of two families that spent many hours together in the heat, the cold, the windy, the rainy and the perfect weather behind the fence surrounding a softball field.  We all knew that this was just a taste of life, watching our daughters play ball.  We knew there was so much still ahead for them to experience, to enjoy, to fulfill their destinies.  This was a team of families that cheered for each player as their own daughter.  Celebrating their success today, anticipating their success tomorrow.

Five years ago, these two families' lives came to a fork in the road that wasn't anticipated, neither was it a desirable twist of curves and cliff edges.  One Friday morning, with both doctors out of the office,  a very nervous nurse had to share what could be a life changing diagnosis and it required urgent treatment.  Interestingly enough, when the sweet nervous nurse said the word 'melanoma', this momma felt a resolve rise from a faith I didn't yet know I had, and this resolve was simply "we will overcome this".  Yes, there was some initial fear but mostly it was a feeling of sadness that my daughter had another medical issue to deal with.

So the phone calls began to schedule surgery to remove a larger portion of the tissue where the melanoma had been located.  Plans were being made to go on with life.  Work this procedure in asap while conducting life as normal.

In the late hours of that Friday, the other family's road hit its curves and cliffs.  The uniformed law officer rang the doorbell in the early morning hours (was he nervous too?) to share that their daughter lost her life in a car accident.  There wasn't a chance for resolve to rise that  'she will survive this'.  There wasn't any phone calls to seek urgent medical treatment.  This life was over.  Period.

The following Thursday this little town saw one of the largest attended funerals in many years, if not in its history.  Christina Lavone "Beaner" Collins touched more lives than she could ever have imagined.  She was one smart, talented, athletic, energetic and honest young lady.  As the funeral came to its close, we rushed off for Jody to have the surgery that would confirm that ALL of the cancerous cells were removed.

One life laid to rest, one life starting a new beginning.  One family learning how to live without a daughter, a sister.  One community learning to live without a friend, a ray of sunlight.  One family learning how to live believing in answered prayer in spite of medicine's shadow of grim prediction.

It's been five years.  Interestingly, God had Jody randomly run into the Collins family on the 5 year mark of the diagnosis and the accident.  Hugs and laughter were exchanged.  You wonder, you hope, that there was some comfort and healing for all in those few minutes together.

Over these last years, further moles have been removed for testing.  The praise worthy news is that before the melanoma, all biopsies came back with dysplatic cells, meaning abnormal with a higher propensity for becoming cancerous.  The last biopsy, and I remember praying as the doctor removed it that this cancer was done and over, came back completely normal!!  It's been five years.  It's the landmark for medicine to declare her cancer free.  But I believe God declared the cancer to be gone five years before as an answer to prayers.

So while my heart celebrates God's goodness in answering this prayer, my heart feels sorrow for the hole left with Christina's death.  There are questions unanswered about her eternal home.  We find hope in knowing she heard the gospel and could have responded at any moment.  It's one of those questions we won't have an answer to until we arrive at our eternal destination as well. 

While I celebrate today and praise Him for the plans He has for Jody, I also pray for the Collins family, that they may feel His comforting presence and embrace the plans He has for them as well.

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing (through the experience of your faith) that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.  Romans 15:13 Amplified Bible

A Plague of Irks

Maybe plague is an exaggeration.  And yet it seems there has been an onslaught of 'irks' buzzing me these last couple of weeks.  Just when I think I've swatted away an 'irk' another one would appear.  "Lord, what do You want me to do with this?" has been a frequent conversation starter lately.

What exactly is an 'irk'?  Sometimes it is a reaction to an irritant that comes from my own selfish tendencies or quirky likes/dislikes.  Other times the 'irk' is a result of someone else's self-centered behavior or from a lack of social graces.  And then there are times the 'irk' is simply a pest stemming from an issue that I am not in the position to control yet am in the position to bear some responsibility for.  

How do you exterminate these pesky 'irks'?  The answer would have been simple in my former years.  Swat and throw punches until the 'irk' is gone.  Yeah.  You're right.  That didn't work very well in the long run.  Was definitely hard on relationships and  usually not conducive to Godly character building.  So back to the "Lord, what do You want me to do with this?"

He has answered this same prayer in different ways.  Quite often He asks me to continue to listen to how He wants me to pray for the 'irk, irkee or irkor'.  And sometimes He tells me to "Get over it!" And then He has said "Give Me time, I'm working on it".  There are some 'irks' that require being addressed rather than ignoring or swatting.  These are the kind that don't go away but continue buzzing your head and possibly leaving a few stingers.  This is the hardest kind for me.  Almost miss the days of swatting and throwing punches.


Just kidding...and so you won't give up on me, know that after I ask God what He wants me to do, I ask Him for the grace and wisdom to do only what brings Him glory.  I really know this 'irk plague' isn't about me, if I don't make it about me, that is.  


So, if you are inclined to pray for me, you might ask Him to deliver me from the 'irk plague'.
Maybe throw in a request for wisdom, discernment and patience too.  And would you mind asking for a small dose of chocolate too?  Not a whole bag or I'll over indulge and have a different kind of plague to deal with.  Well, maybe we should leave the prayer to the simplistic prayer of Father Tim..."Not thy will, Father, but Yours."

The Door is Open

For a reason only God knows, He gave Ralph and I the commission early on in our marriage that our door is always open.  We've welcomed a variety of people into our lives over the years and certainly there were times we were taken advantage of and had some bumps and bruises.  In looking back over the years, I'm hopeful we showed His love and compassion even though we still didn't fully understand it ourselves.  And still don't fully understand it but we have grown in embracing it.

In these experiences, we've learned there is wisdom in having boundaries in place.  Communication and adjustment are a continual need.  Guarding your relationship with each other is vital. Martyrdom is futile.  Forgiveness is essential.  Grace and mercy are a daily need.  His love covers all and my love falls short.  We are responsible to be the light of Christ but we aren't responsible for their response.  And there even comes a time when you have to recognize that the season is ending for both parties and a new one is beginning.  Hopefully the new season is one of spring and new growth but we've seen a harsh winter hit as well.

What I know is this:  Our door is open.  We will be obedient.  And, praise the Lord, we are getting better at hearing His voice of wisdom and discernment once He places His sheep in our home for a day, a week, however long.  Because ultimately, they are HIS sheep and we are simply His caregivers for a season.