Thankful

Woke up really early this morning and spent some time with a glass of milk and my thanksgiving list.  Finished teaching another New Believer's class last night with them giving their testimonies.  So wonderful to hear how God has moved in people's lives! 

Peeked in on Facebook for awhile which lead me to some family pictures.  Fills my heart with joy to remember what this family means to one another.  Encourages me to press on in prayer believing He has even more for this family.  My desire is that we ALL serve Him and my fantasy is that we even serve together once in awhile.  How cool would that be?

Am finding myself a little weary in a few areas.  Just can't seem to get caught up on the housework - I plane don't like doing it - and the clutter that needs cleared away isn't getting any better.   Having an extra person living with us has gone fairly well other than it is another person living with us.  One more person to buy groceries for, to work a schedule around, to share a living area and TV with and to clean up after.  And really he has shown great initiative to doing things without me having to ask him but there are still those 'things' that aren't done or aren't how I would like them to be.  Makes me feel selfish and sometimes petty.  I don't want to be that way.

Then again, I've had some great time with Him lately.  So I think I will keep my thoughts focused there and be THANKFUL.

Squeegee Hunt

I've got my bucket, I've got my rock, I'm goin' on a squeegee hunt...

I truly do have all that I need to walk victorious in this life. It's a matter of laying down what isn't necessary or isn't working and picking up the tools that equip me. It's remaining under a true spiritual authority, seeing what He has for me to see, availing myself of the resources (people included) around me and marching forward. He has given me a passion and a call to a certain ministry. He has been fine tuning me and I'm sure has much work left to do (smile) so it's time to press onward. At His pace, with His guidance and in His way. Keeping my eyes on the prize...

And I hope it is a 'squeegee'...

amazing how easily tears can spring to the eyes...might be the bright sun, or the stinging wind, a sudden surprise, unexpected gift, a melancholy moment, a grieving sadness, sweet embrace, moving song, lovely vision, special memory, a thing hoped for, a date on the calendar...new life, restored life - both precious and to be highly anticipated and celebrated!

It only takes a few...

So many words spoken, some hold life and some are hurtful. It only takes a few...to change a life. "I'm sorry." "You're forgiven." "I love you." "I appreciate you." "I miss you." "I am blessed to have you in my life." For all of the words that can weigh you down, to be lifted up again only takes a few.

For Keeps

So in the journey to becoming a family, we've had taken a few turns that doesn't follow the usual course. Early on, we seemed to be the couple that would babysit others kids. In college, we watched Eddie while his mom worked. Ralph taught him to love donuts and Eddie taught Ralph how to wipe his hands on a napkin by rolling it across his chest with one hand, then the other thereby cleaning both hands. Then we helped a family with 3 kids whose mother had an emotional problem. The kids started turning to us more than their mother so we had to step back to allow them to work out being a family unit again. Next we get a call from an ex-neighbor offering us her grandson to adopt. We gave him a home for almost 2 years before playing roulette with the mother and saying either she allowed us to adopt him or she needed to give him a home. We lost. Then followed daughters of our own, Dana and Jody. God had one more surprise for us though in an unexpected pregnancy that brought Ross William Glazner into our lives. On that day I thought, "finally a son that can't be taken away from us". The craziness of this journey is that the young boy we wanted to adopt has been in and out of lives several times and has returned once again. He's about to be 31 and this time I "see" him as a son but also know I have no parental rights - He is truly God's son. And while it feels like 'someone' has taken Ross away, I know the same applies to him - He is truly God's son. Well, gee, I thought this being a mother was "for keeps". I think I'm glad to have figured out Who the real Keeper is but it is taking a while to adjust to the fact that I'm not it. I mean, wouldn't I want God to be the One who "keeps" all my children (and all loved ones) in His hand? Of course, I do!

Learning to figure out where the puts me on the journey. Moving forward, watching for road signs, listening for His voice, trusting that what/where/how all moves me toward what is really "for keeps".

Loving the Prodigals

I'm learning. Sometimes wonder why I am in this place to be doing this learning. But I am. In fact, guess I kinda asked for it. I've had an ongoing tutoring session with God for several years now on the topic of Love. I recall stating to someone years ago "If I want to love this boy, I have to love his momma." And I tried. In fact, I did love her but I didn't nurture her in a relationship toward God, at least not very well. And now she is in eternity. I can only hope she made a decision that sent her to heaven but I honestly don't know. In those years I thought I could love someone enough to make a difference. Then I discovered my love is limited and conditional and it is exhausting to try to "love enough". God's love is unlimited and unconditional so my next thought was that I needed to love others with His love and allow Him to work through me as He willed. The shortcoming of that idea is that the other person might be influenced by His love through others but they still have a will to choose how to respond to His love. So here I am in what I hope to be the Master Level course on Love. My role in this life is to Love Him. Simply to Love Him. He will direct my steps, will channel His love to flow onto others as He plans, He will sustain and protect me and He will keep me in perfect peace. I must give all of me to Him if I'm to have that perfect peace. Wish it was as easy as it sounds. Well, that sounded negative. But that's where I am right now. Learning to keep my eyes on Him. "Be still and know that I am God."

Don't mean to be cryptic so I'll explain what has motivated this post: Our 'almost son', Branden, is home with us for awhile. There are some who probably have concern with this decision and I understand. However, this was a decision that we didn't make - God did. Branden has come and gone from our lives several times. This time Ralph & I know God brought him here. We don't know anything more than that. And it has to be enough for now. We are asking and trusting God to reveal what is next. We are trusting.

What is within the spirit - the pureness or corruptness of the spiritual heart - is what shapes the soul - the thinking, feeling, acting which in turns affects the health of the body. If I am full of unforgiveness, it becomes a bitterness that then flavors every thought, feeling and action I have, in particular toward the area from which the bitterness was originally harbored. And those unhealthy emotions and actions begin to tear down my physical body. The stress and anguish change the chemical make-up of my body and begin to break down its optimum performance level.

So, upon learning this anew Sunday, I asked God to show me if there was any hidden bitterness in me. Why did I not think He would answer that prayer and show me exactly what I had asked for?
God has revealed a bitter root and it will have to come out. It's stuck right now but He will help break it up so it is completely removed this time. Once and for all! PTL