Missing In Action

It's just this simple: There are people in my life that are "missing in action"...some are living their own lives with their own family in a state far away, some are no longer on this earth, some are going to fiddle contests and some are lost. That's all I had to say....

MAYBE... Maybe... we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one - so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe... when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, oftentimes we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us. Maybe... it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it; but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing, until it arrives. Maybe... the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches. Maybe... you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of and want to do. Maybe... there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around, you appreciate them more. Maybe... the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. Maybe... you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too. Maybe.... you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone. Maybe... giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. Maybe... happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives. Maybe... you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. Maybe... you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy! Maybe... you should try to live your life to the fullest, because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling; but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

okay i just had this thought....for the sake of unity i believe if we hang in there together long enough, the differences in our perspectives won't matter as long as Christ is the center...oh, yeah and that Truth reigns - that's important - more important than most realize....yesterday during worship my heart was broken for the lies and deceptions that I've seen all around me - the father of lies knows no boundaries, no age limits, believers and non-believers alike...then it was if God revealed to me that our lives are the testimonies to the only real TRUTH and that is how we combat the lies and deception....so i've been thinking on how that looks in everyday living...am i a testimony to His way, His truth, His love.... pastor talked about 4 foundations: Jesus, His Word, Family and Church.... i know of a faith that claims those same 4 foundations cloaking the TRUTH in false venacular..(word?)... sometimes I stomp my foot out of frustration coz I feel angry about this deception and as if my hands are tied....then I force myself back to His promises, His truth and His faithfulness...
I was on my way home from Dana's the other day and a little black puppy was trotting alongside the four lane road - no homes in sight. I wanted to stop. I wanted to rescue that dog even though I wasn't sure it needed rescuing. I was about to look to the side of the road to stop when I heard "you can't save every stray puppy".... my thoughts have been circling since...its not up to me to 'save' anyone or any puppy...but it is my responsibility to be obedient to whatever He asks of me...it just wasn't meant to be that puppy that day...

Maybe after this...

Is it not ridiculous how much of our lives we go through thinking "Maybe after this...." when we really don't have a clue what will happen after this? (I'm not talking about eternity here - that we know - at least in part and we will know in full at the right time.) I remember after having my first baby, I anticipated some changes but also expected some return to normalcy. After the second child, I began to see that normalcy is redefined every day. After the third child, I realized that normalcy is a fallacy anyway. Life is what it is and what you make of it for those 24 hours of that day.
So after this weekend trip to Nashville, what do I think will happen? First, I will be adapting to the changes in the family structure. Jody will be gone for the summer, Dana hopefully will be in OKC for her PT clinical rotation and I'll be okay with a house full of boys. Next I do so desperately hope to get my house clean and organized again. It is typical chaos that I've learned to tolerate but right now it is also dirty - and I mean "I'm ashamed of it" dirty. And finally, though there are lots of things that could be on the list, I want to sort through the papers and pictures from my dad's house (it's been 6 years) and give to my brothers the items that they would enjoy having. We sorted some of the pictures/papers when we cleaned the house out but some things need to be copied.
And most importantly on the "after this" radar....I know God has been leading me to something new, something deeper - outside of my world of normalcy and I want to embrace with confidence what it is and be found obedient in His eyes. I'm not sure of His timing or plan but I do know He is directing me toward more training for a purpose and I'm excited about that. This ole dog learns slow but I do still learn.
Off to pack the bags and pillow. I'm hoping to sleep my way to Nashville:)

Four+ Days Back at College

I hadn't planned on spending this week at MSU but then again as a mother, you don't always get to make plans. We got the phone call about 4 am Tuesday morning that Jody was in ER with great pain and throwing up. After calling the wonderful older sister and brother in-law to ask them if they would head on to the ER (I felt sorry for the roomie and best friend who had spent hours with her already) I packed a bag and headed south myself. By the time I got to the hospital, Dana had all under control. At one point, I laughed to myself "I'm only the mother" as I stood by while Dana and Brian took care of her. After finally receiving a second shot of a pain killer that truly worked, they told us she had a small kidney stone that should pass within 24-48 hours and sent us home.
The question was where to take her. She wasn't up to traveling very far so we ended up back in her dorm room where we have camped out since then waiting for that little stone to show itself in the strainer she has to carry everywhere. Still hasn't shown itself so we are assuming it hasn't passed. She is still sore and in pain some of the time. We saw a urologist Thursday morning who was worthless. The only useful information we gathered from him was that the tests showed there weren't any more stones in the kidney and he gave her a medicine that is suppose to help the stone pass (but in reading about it on the internet, it says not to give it to women or children....it is for prostrate problems....will give it a couple of days, I guess).
This morning I was awakened from my comfy bed, made from chair cushions, so we could journey to the crowded first floor of a boys wing because the tornado sirens were blaring. As I sat there telling myself that I wasn't claustrophobic and the loud, hyserical girl deserved to live, I thought "I went to college in Oklahoma, part of tornado alley, and never remember a tornado drill much less a real one." Thankfully we were only there about an hour. When we came back to the room (4th floor) it was almost frightening to watch the tree outside twist in the wind - it was a strong wind. And then it all passed by.
The next excitement was hearing that Dana & Brian had a flood in their basement from a small stream in their back yard that flowed up to their back door and filled their downstairs w/ 2" of water. And of course, they lost electricity. However, they had some amazing friends kick in big time and help move everything so nothing was lost in that aspect. The guy next door works for his family who cleans carpets so he immediately got the water extractor & started as soon as they got electricity. In remains to be seen what will happen to the carpet.
So today I packed part of Jo's room to take home with me tomorrow. She gave up her room to Branden so we will have to figure out where to store her stuff for the summer. She had planned on putting some of it at Dana and Brian's - having to re-think that plan.
Going to finish my college week by watching a movie. We tried to watch it last night but fell asleep. Oh, life is exciting...

Volcano - Mt. St. Debbie

Wow but after the laughter wears you out, the insides start churning with the threat of becoming a volcano and spewing over the next person in your path........doesn't that sound so dramatic??? I'm still being funny here. I'm wishing people could just do what they need to do in the first place but our Pastor said just yesterday, "There's no shortcuts." I hope he realizes that wasn't encouraging but then again, those instances where people do a 180 seem often to be able to do another 180 back in the wrong direction just as quick. Those whose steps slowly turn closer and closer to the true path for them, seem to have a better long term bearing on where they are going. Poo, I don't know anything. I'm just trying to be grateful Branden is home and we can use his trials to motivate him to a new way of living. teehee...I just said "trials"...actually they are only court dates....one for 'causing alarm' which is a catch-all for 'we don't know what you were really up to but we are watching you' and the other is for missing his probation appointments for his driving violations. He went to work today - that is good. Gotta keep up counting the good and hoping for more of it.

My wonderful husband helped me dig rocks out of this flower bed that I'm trying an extreme makover on. I'm not sure he is moving well today. He moaned and groaned...while digging out the rocks....bet he's still moaning and groaning when he gets home today. Think I'll make him something nice for dinner....hmmmm, better go see what's possible....

Loving the laughter

You have to love laughter. It is a condiment to many emotions. You are happy - you laugh. You are scared - you laugh (Dana drops to the floor first, then laughs.) You are riding in the family car going to the graveyard - you find something to make you laugh (or maybe our family is really, really strange but it happened at my mom's funeral). You are nervous - here comes the giggle. You are completely befuddled - you laugh as you give it up. Ralph and I have been laughing these last 18 hours as we find ourselves dealing with another chapter of what was to be our empty nest beginning. "Lord, what do You have us doing?" We didn't know we'd be learning new legal terms - didn't know how large our sphere of influence would get when we welcomed Branden back to our home. To be honest if we knew all that is ahead, would we have opened our door. Yes, I think we would have in this case but there is a part of me that believes God shelters us from knowing too much sometimes so we will simply trust Him and be obedient in the moment. We have been meeting some of Branden's friends. He is in a holding cell right now with one of those friends. We are communicating with another of his friends to get more of the story. As crazy, and believe me I know it is CRAZY, as it is, we are making connections with these friends for a reason we don't pretend to understand. Who is to say if God is giving opportunity for these young adults to have an older adult treat them with respect in the midst of their poor decision making and lifestyles. For Peter's sake, we don't think we are Mother Teresa here, but something is going on bigger than us. We want to be His love drawing the hurt, lost and even rebellious to a loving relationship with the only One who can complete their lives. ....okay, so you aren't left hanging...we aren't sure what the outcome will be for Branden's situation. They have 24 hours to charge him or release him. He was in the wrong place with the wrong person and is being held on "probably cause". He also didn't make his last appointment with his probation officer so that could cost him some jail time. And as crazy as this sounds, we are glad for this turn of events (though we hope he is released!) because we can now say "you've tried it your way - how's that working for you?" and then lay out some expectations he will have to agree to because he had his chance and blew it.
I doubt that many read my blog that don't know us fairly well so I hope it is okay that we ask you to pray for us as we try to hear what God wants us to do with this opportunity. Pray for a brokeness in Branden that would cause him to hunger for more of the Lord (he has said the salvation prayer but I don't know that he understands the significance - has dodged discipling so far - still don't think we can force that on him so am praying he hungers for it. Pray for Ralph and I to be in unity on the decisions and actions we take. Pray for our other children that they agree with the risks we are taking and aren't harmed by it.
Laughter...couldn't exist without it!